Grief too many miles away.

I have lived away from "home" since 2008 and the 2 years prior to that I was rarely there. Currently I am in China and earlier this week I was informed of the passing of a very special colleague and friend from my time teaching in NZ. 

When I arrived in China and started induction to my current school I checked my messages in a break and was informed that my colleague sadly had only 6 months to live due to lung cancer. It was a huge blow to me as this wonderful person had been my acting Head of Learning prior to leaving and had supported me greatly in so many ways. She wasn't old enough and as far as I could see it just wasn't fair.

My first department in New Zealand was a very special group and I had no idea just how special it was until I had left it behind. Only myself and 1 other have left this department and we have both been able to talk about our leaving and the impact it has had. I was grateful not to be the only person on the outside this week and so many miles away. 

Death is a sad fact of life and I have sadly been aware of this fact for longer than I wish. It is different though losing a colleague or friend. The hardest thing has been the distance. There is no one here in China with whom I can talk about the memories of my colleague and celebrate their life and grieve properly. It is a kind of no man's land and you begin to feel somewhat silly for needing someone to listen to you and share in your grief. You also can't demand time off work and jump on a plane at the drop of hat. It is only justifiable for a blood relative apparently and yet here I sit unable to close the door on this loss.

So, to my amazing colleague who fought hard, beat the 6 months to make it to 14 and didn't wallow, I drink to you. Thank you for all that you taught me, all you shared and your amazing strength to the end.