Third Culture Kids

Yesterday my school held its annual International Family Day. The day is a large fete with stalls by local businesses advertising themselves and selling a variety of goods, games run by the students and staff and food from many of the different nations prepared and served  by the parents. Performances take place in the foyer and theatre and these are school groups, community groups and individuals. The start of the day is a parade of all of the nations represented within the school community.

I personally had an issue with this event as I didn't wish to parade with my country as it sadly hasn't felt like home for a long time. I have permanent residency whenever I wish in a second country and they were more than willing to accept my husband and I, which was a relief. Unfortunately this opened me up to a multitude of comments and criticisms as to why I wasn't marching with the UK. How can you stand in a position that doesn't feel right? Surely people should be able to recognise that you have chosen to not stand there for a big reason, respect that and leave you alone? The whole day just highlights your lack of a sense of belonging and is exacerbated by people who don't understand.

When we practised the parade on Friday I noticed that we had a group identified as "Third Culture". One colleague was rather vocal on this topic and left me thinking. Some of the students in the "Third Culture" group are from mixed parentage and have moved around. Other students have parents from the same country and due to having travelled around aren't sure where "home" is. Many of my colleagues have children and work in International Schools, but regularly return "home" to visit family and ensure that their children have that sense of identity and belonging. One colleague realised that their children were not sure where their home was and so made the effort to return to their country of origin every year despite the size of their family and cost of flights.

Is it therefore a parents fault of a child doesn't have a cultural identity? Must it be someone's fault if you aren't sure who you are and where you belong?

"Home is where the heart is". With my husband and Labradoodle I am home, but is home a place, an emotion or a state of mind? Does having a "home" make you more stable, superior?

The present and future are more important to me than my past. That doesn't mean that I have discounted my past or written off anyone that I have met and is no longer in my present orbit. I don't need to belong. I just need to "be".

Despite not being in the "Third Culture" classification I understand the struggle that these students have and how being forced to make a decision as to where they belong and then to face the questions and criticisms for that choice is tough. There is nothing wrong with being a "Third Culture" kid. They are strong. Think before you question or criticise a "Third Culture" kid or parent. Just because you know where you belong doesn't mean that it is so simple for everyone else.